As I write this I am still wondering how all of this is going to work out. I am still hiding in secret. I am still so worried about how people will react.
I have told four people. Only two see me regularly, and neither is my wife. I know that I should be telling her. I know that she will listen. I know that she will support my decision. I do not wish to upset or alienate her. I'm not saying that my choice will upset her, but I feel like it could. She has always been so patient with me.
I am so worried about messing this up. It gnaws at me. There is a sense of urgency and nervousness making me slightly ill on my stomach when I think on it.
This is hard. God help me.
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